My year out...(another "me" post)

I think I mentioned at the start of the year all my well thought out plans for how I was going to spend my gap year. At the time I could think of nothing more exciting than spending 6-7months travelling but now I'm having second thoughts...

It still seems awesome, I still want to travel, and I most definitely still want to go to some "more interesting" places. But over the last month or two there's been a spanner in the works. Leaving family and friends for half a year never really phased me, yeh of course I'd miss everyone but I've always been a pretty solitary who's content with being on their own. I'd meet new people on the road and my friends could easily spend time with other people too, they'd all be at uni so I would really see them anyway. That was all fine, but then I found a girl who I'd miss a hell of a lot and whats worse is she'd miss me. Sounds pretty stupid I know, I mean I've only been with her a month or so, seems pretty naive to think I'll still be with her come the end of the year. Seems more naive to change plans of a lifetime around a 1-month relationship.

Whats more, do I want to change my plans? In short, I don't want to leave her behind for 6 months. But neither do I want to give up on a trip I've been looking forward to for years only to go and break up with her a few months down the line for one reason or another. So lets imagine, that it's gonna we're gonna work out in the long-term, as in long-long-term...what difference is 6 months gonna make? If it's gonna last a long-time surely we could get through 6 months apart. But if I don't go maybe in 10 years time I'm gonna regret not going when I had the chance, maybe (I wouldn't now, but maybe in future...) I'd find myself resenting the reason I didn't go. She keeps telling me to go, she says doesn't want me to leave but that she can't stand in my way.

So this all got me thinking, maybe committing myself to 6 months travel is too big a risk - I've never travelled extensively before and I've most definitely never been anywhere like the places I'm planning to go. I'd hate to set off on my big trip only to find I hate it and wish I'd gone somewhere else - but then these are places I've wanted to go to for years...can I hate them? But I came up with an idea, while it still has it's problems it seems a lot better. Maybe I could split my trip in half, spend 2-3 months doing a conservation project at the end of this year, come back, earn some more money and then go away for another 3-4 months.

Solves the problems? I'm still spending my gap year in an awesome way, certainly not a waste. Going away for 12 weeks at a time seems a hell of a lot more managable than half a year. I know I'd still be away for the same amount of time but it has a very differnt vibe. What's more I get to change my plans halfway through, if I decide I hate Africa during the first trip I simply go somewhere else for the second one, if I hate travel I simply don't go away again.

It kinda all makes sense, trying to spot the drawbacks though. It makes getting jobs harder as I'll have to quit each one after a few months but I was planning to temp so touchwood that shouldn't pose too many problems. I'll spend more on flights as I'd have to fly out and home twice, but an extra £500 isn't too big a thing compared to what the whole year is costing me, for those two reasons it's financial blow. Plus my trip loses some of it's "tough-guy expedition" feel, 6 months accross Africa has a certain edge to it.

Essentially I'm trying very hard not to fall into the trap of young-naivity. Am I changing my plans around someone I've been with for just over a month, yes and no. It made me reconsider, without her I would probably stick to doing one trip. But in my attempt to avoid the hole of young-naivity it still makes logical sense even if we break up, there aren't really that many drawbacks to it. In a way it makes it seem a lot more real to me, spending 6 months travelling still feels like an impossible dream that I won't ever reach even though there's no reason for me not to. Going on a conservation project for a couple of months at the end of this year seems very acheivable, I get some travel experience which will no doubt help if I do decide to overland accross Africa, and I can get a good idea if that it what I want to do.

OK that was a long post, all about me, so probably not very interesting. Sorry I havn't been posting much lately, nothing to say I guess but there's a couple of things I'll write about later today or tomorrow....probably.